Priorities in Art and Life
This year has felt really hard in a lot of ways! My husband has been in a transitional time for a while now. He was offered a job and has been trying to figure out what the right path is for him in his career and life. The first part of the year he was working nearly 80 hours a week and it was really stressful at home. When his schedule started to calm down he was offered a job with a substantial pay increase, but with worse health insurance. So it has been a couple of months of trying to decide what the right path is.
I also have two cats and one of them is getting older. It has been really challenging to watch Roman age, I’ve had him since he was like a few weeks old! Now he is around 16 and has diabetes and arthritis. Last week I found out he also has glaucoma and has gone blind in one eye. I am really close to my cats and spend a lot of time giving them attention, watering them and making sure they are happy and enjoying their lives. It has been so hard to deal with Roman getting older, quite painful.
You know, maybe I am kind of selfish…but ever since I started making art and sewing I have always prioritized my art. Art making has been as important to me as the very breath I take, it sustains me and fills me up. Lately I have been so concerned with everyone else’s struggles and life journey that I have put my own life on the back burner. I still make art but it doesn’t feel very important right now. I paint every day, flinging watercolor and gouache. But I just don’t feel the same drive that I used to. I always thought I would perhaps sell my work one day, which felt important to me. And now it just doesn’t feel important at all.
I think creativity has phases, and I’m so glad that I keep showing up to paint each day. During different seasons of life art making means different things. Right now life is taking center stage, while art making feels kind of frivolous. I think this is just a phase, because art really is my life. I’m just writing this because I’m sure other people can relate to life getting in between them and the canvas. I’m choosing to show up to my art every day, whether that be sewing or painting, and keep my creativity flowing.